character flaw

I've always been a rule follower so I'm blaming one of my many character flaws on a familar rhyhm I learned as a child.

Secrets, secrets are no fun.
Secrets, secrets hurt someone.

I never liked secrets as a kid, I knew they would hurt someone or hurt me. Still to this day I cannot keep a secret. Some secrets are good, some are bad. I defintiely am not good at keeping either. I'm lucky to have a few different groups of friends in my life, so that if someone in one group tells me a secret, I can tell someone else who doesn't know them at all. That's how I roll.

You can tell me something in confidence, just know that I might have to tell someone else in another friend group that doesn't know you and most likely never will. I just can't hold it in.

Hi-Lo-Ha's from the last 2 weeks!

Hi

My first 2 1/2 years of college were spent at Southern Nazarene University. A couple weeks ago we had a 5-year reunion during Homecoming. There were only 30 or so people who actually came but it was so great to see each of them and to catch up. We had a fun weekend sharing stories and looking a crazy pictures.

A small group of people from my Sunday School class went out to Chester's Party Barn weekend before last. We met up with another singles group. It was a lot of fun. We went on a hayride, wheelbarrow raced, went down a giant slide, karaoked, etc.! The boys dedicated "I Swear" to the girls and I laughed so hard I cried and peed a little bit too! :)

Last weekend we had a Girly-Girl Sleepover with our high school girls! We made homemade Christmas ornaments which were awesome! They turned out super cute. We used styrofoam, straight pins, beads and sequins! G-L-A-M! Then we had a Q & A, which was awesome. We had a panel of females...a doctor, a therapist, a pastor, a college student, a mom, etc. It was great to hear all the questions they had to ask.

Lo

A guy I dated my senior year of high school was murdered almost 2 weeks ago. His name was Jeremy Moore. We both grew up in Nazarene churches and were friends throughout high school and college. He really was a great guy. He was one of those people who really loved unconditionally. I haven't seen him in 5 years and I know things in his life had changed...but I also know that he loved Jesus and he was Jesus to a lot of people. His fiance had their first child 2 weeks before he was killed. He had taken on another job delivering pizzas to make some extra cash to buy a house. He was delivering $42 worth of pizza when he was shot at an apartment complex. It was a fake call and last I heard the police think it was gang related. They didn't take his wallet or his car...just the pizza.

I went to the funeral last Thursday. It was weird to see so many people from my past that I don't see anymore but also comforting at the same time. I don't understand God's ways but I know that he has a plan and that's what I have to remember. Lives were changed for the good because of Jeremy. I know that Jesus met him at the gate and said, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Ha

I watch my favorite 8-year old this weekend. I started nannying for Lauren when she had just turned 2. It's crazy how time flies. Lauren and I spend the whole weekend together because her mom had to visit a sick family member and her dad works crazy hours. We had a lot of fun together. We have a really special relationship and I love that girl like crazy. I can't think of anything specific that she said or did, but I know I laughed a lot. Kids are awesome!

I'm adding a new segment onto every Hi-Lo-Ha....it's the La, which stands for Looking Ahead. In the La portion, I will let everyone know what I'm looking forward to in the week ahead.

La

I'm headed to the National Youth Workers Convention in Nashville this Thursday. There are 7 others who will be joining me. NYWC was seriously the highlight of 2007. I can't wait to get out to Nashville, which happens to be one of my favorite cities! I come home on Monday, so I'm sure you'll get a lot of great blog stories!

Love to you all!

i'll be back!

I'm sorry to have been out of the blog world for so long. This past month has been crazy for me and I'm not really sure why. Lots of ups and lots of downs...I'll fill you in next week when I have some time. I'm off to a girly-girl overnighter with our high school girls! Love to you all!

Grace a la mode

Do you ever have those days that just stink all together? Yesterday was that day for me. The night before I didn't get much sleep because the night before that I slept at my grandparents house because there was a manhunt near my house and my backdoor wasn't locking properly.

They didn't catch the guys but my door was fixed so I went back home. I didn't sleep well that night so I woke up exhausted. I worked all morning on my lesson for LHGH. About 3 p.m. I finished my lesson and realized that I actually just spend 4 hours on next weeks lesson. So I rushed through the correct lesson and left in a hurry to get to the gym. Luckily the gym is just across the street from my office, but I was still in a hurry. I threw my laptop, books, paperwork, etc in my car, locked it...then realized that I just locked my keys in my car. The sweet maintenance guys at the church were on their way home but stop to help. They got my door open and I finally made it to the gym.

My friend Melissa and I rode the bike for 30 minutes and as we were stretching my cell phone rang. It was the pizza place where I had ordered dinner for LHGH. My church credit card was declined and they couldn't process my order. I finally got it paid for and then had to run pick up some students and then hurry back to open up the doors for the rest of our students.

It was just an off night all together. The kids were crazy and distracted. My youth workers looked frazzled and exhausted too. I eventually made my way to the driveway and mustered enough energy to get out and get into my house.

I sat down to have some quiet time with my BFF, God and realized I hadn't even spent anytime with him that day. I know that's where my exhausted and blah-ness came from. I know that spending quality time with God is what keeps me going. I hate that I'm "too busy" because I'm not. A few months ago my pastor encouraged us all to take 10 minutes to just be silent and rest and listen to God. My goal is to start doing that on a regular basis again. Thanks to God for the grace and peace he gives me on a daily basis.

Hi-Lo-Ha #7

Hi
My hi was definitely passing out candy on Halloween. It was fun to see all the kids dressed up. My friends Holly and Chris brought their kids by. Annabelle was a cheerleader and Watson was a football player. So cute! My friend Lindsey also brought her boys over. They were precious...Owen was a mouse (at least i think he was a mouse. his costume had a huge bottom and hips!) and Alec was a skeleton. :) I love little kids!

Lo
Last week was payday, except on payday I had my car insurance, car payment, drivers licensce and car tag due! POO on driving and all the expenses....my change oil light and my low fuel light came on yesterday!

Ha
I had some friends who thought it would be funny to buy me an eharmony 3-month membership for my birthday last year. I did not think it was funny! They used it for entertainment and laughter. I checked it every once in awhile, but was never really interested in it. Last week I got an email from eharmony saying that they are giving me the month of November for free. Not that eharmony is bad, I actually know people who have met on dating websites and actually gotten married but I just don't think it's for me. I have actually gotten matched with people I know from college which is pretty funny and Anyway, here we go again...

Halloween

I still vividly remember the last time I trick-or-treated as a kid. I was in 6th grade and dressed up as a clown. We had just moved to the country and changed schools, so my mom took my brother and I took the neighborhood. The last house was the biggest house in the whole neighborhood and we all know that's where the good candy is. Ryan and I jumped out of the car and ran to the door. As we said, "trick or treat", the girl anwering the door said, "hey guys! it's Jaci!" It was the meanest girl in my school, Tara. She had a Halloween party at her house and all the "cool" kids from my grade where there. I didn't know what to do. I just felt sick. As I got the car I just lost it, I started to cry. Tears were falling because I felt embarrassed and left out. I remember begging my mom not the make me go to school the next day. I did go to school and Tara told everyone that I was a loser for dressing up and trick-or-treating. I honestly think this was my first encounter with mean girls. I avoided Tara through graduation.

Last week, I went to visit some of the middle school students I work with at lunch. It's alwasy interesting when you enter a school cafeteria. You can immediately see the different groups. I hugged a few kids and then I saw her, I saw her sitting alone in a huge room a groups. She used to be pretty involved in the youth ministry. We talked for awhile and I told her how much I missed seeing her. That night I got a text message from her saying, "I miss church too, but those girls were really mean I don't want to come back because they'll make fun of me." How sad is that? We try to so hard to make church a place of safety. The people are the church. Teaching middle school students that can be hard. They want to befriend and help others but not at the loss of their reputation.

After thinking about for awhile I just realized that I need to lead by example. I tell my students to invite their unchurched friends to church...but I don't even have any. I long to go on mission trips and tell strangers about Jesus, but in my own town, in my own city, I'm not so good at that.

God, bring people into my life who need Jesus. Help me to make the most of the opportunities you give me to be Jesus to others. I love telling students about you and your son. I know that you have so much more for me. I want to invest in the lives of those in my community who don't have you in their life. Lead me. Guide me. Teach me Lord. I love you.